Losing You Would Just Crush Me
by skyhoofhearted
Summary: Severus fallsin lovewith oneof his students.Howcan theypossibly betogether without everyoneknowing?She graduatesthis springwill hefinally askthe question thathas beenbugginghim sincethey gottogether?Will shestay around orwillshe dumphim fora sexierteacher
1. Potions

(Disclaimer: I own nothing. It's all J.K. Rowling's. I do own the 'Airloom 007' unless in J.K.'s 6 or 7 book that's in there. DON'T SUE ME!)

Sorry for the summary, I had to just say that last part, here's what is says with spaces:

Severus falls in love with one of his students. How can they possibly be together without everyone knowing?She graduates this spring will he finally ask the question that has been bugging him since they got together?Will she stay around or will she dump him for a sexier, youngerteacher? (no one gets hotter than my Sev)

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Chapter 1

I sat in the tree by the lake, barely visible to anyone. Spring was here and everything was blooming. It was a beautiful view. I took a deep breath. I loved the fresh spring smell; it always gave me hope for some reason.

I looked up to the light blue sky and closed my eyes.

This was my last year at Hogwarts. I had tried out for the quidditch team and make it as chaser. So now I have a lovely Airloom 007, the newest model.

"Accio Airloom!" I said. My newly polished broom came flying at me, and then made a steady stop in front of me. I took hold of the broom and got on. I took off, soaring through the clouds as if nothing could stop me.

I over came my fears of flight last year. This year was the year I was totally different. I was actually starting to think that I was a whole new person.

I slowly descended. I flew around the castle till I came across my next class, potions.

He had a class at the moment so I just hovered and watched him sneer at students and take points away if you so much as attempted to look at him.

I watched him go to his desk, pushing his hair out of his eyes.

"Look, it's the Head Girl!" I heard one of the fourth years shout. How do they know me from this far away? I wasn't going to stick around to find out either. I flew upwards, hoping Snape wouldn't try to get me.

I heard a window open below me. "Hermi…um Miss Granger, get back here!" I heard him shout after me. He had a stern look on his face.

I squeezed my eyes shut before flying down again. I was in trouble now. I was directly in front of him.

"Detention for disturbing my class." He said.

"You can't give detentions to the Heads, one of our many lucky advantages." I grinned and then I remembered he had a class still and looked at my broom stick. They were all staring at me, open mouthed and everything.

"Well then," he was starting to sound like he was talking to Harry. "I guess you will just be spending your next few evenings with me, helping me do something. I will find stuff for you to do."

"What are you baby-faced morons gaping at? Get back to work." He shut, more like slammed, the windows in my face. I flew away, taking the hint.

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A/N: I'm having trouble coming up with a good name for this story, could you help me? Oh, and I have a potion for any one who wants it: Will you please come up with good summaries that will fit into the summary box thingy? Just review and tell me if you want to the job. You also need to review and tell me summary with in it. I would also be greatful if you would do a summary for my other stories. NO FLAMES! 

Until next time,  
Ryann


	2. Life Lessons

Chapter 2

I basically ran when the bell rang. I didn't want anyone there when I was going to talk to Snape. He was the only on in the room. He looked up from his desk to see me. I set my books on my desk and went up to his.

"Professor, do I really have to come tonight?" I asked.

"Yes! Of course, like I said, I will find _things_ for you to do." He really emphasized 'things'. I knew what that meant and smiled. He came out from behind his desk and was about to hug me when he stopped abruptly and said, "So…you will come tonight for a month, is that clear?" I gave him a questioning look, and then I figured another student had probably walked into the room. _Crap it!_

Who ever it was just ruined their talk.

"Yes professor." Then I took my seat. It was Zabini who walked in.

_Curse him! He will pay for interrupting; I'll make sure of that._

0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0

Class began a few minutes later.

"Take out your textbooks and turn to page 394. You will take the recipe and make what kind of potion?" I quickly looked over the ingredients. My hand shot up after reading the first two.

"Yes Miss Granger?" he flinched a little at the title, but I would be the only on to notice this.

"A Love Potion Professor," then I smiled. He knew exactly what I was going to do next. I slowly raised my hand again.

"Yes Miss Granger?" he said, trying to sound vexed; he was good at acting, he had been doing it for five years.

"Why are you having us make a love potion sir?"

"I have my reasons Miss Granger." _He took the time to think this out, very cute!_

"And might I ask, what are those reasons?" I was the only one who could get away with interrogating him, in public at least.

"A…a demonstration of what the potion will do to two people."

"How long will it take us?" I asked.

"About a month." I glanced back at my book.

"I bet I could finish this potion by the end of this hour and the antidote by tonight."

"Ok Miss Granger. If you finish this potion by the end of the hour, I'll give you something you want, within limits, and if you finish the antidote by eight tonight and bring it with you to your detention, I will give you an even greater award. And for your brave proposition, you will be the person I test the love potion on." I just about knocked my chair over. I didn't think he would go that extreme.

"Miss Granger, take your seat!" he shouted. I quickly got to work; I had a bet to win.

0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0

I glanced up at the clock, five minutes left. I dropped my last ingredient in and stirred. I took a sample up to Severus' desk. He told me that he wanted the entire potion. I turned back to face and raise my eyebrow at him, was he going insane!

"As you wish professor." I whispered. I went back to my desk and poured the entire potion into a plastic container. I laid it on his desk.

"There you are sir." And I took my seat.

"Tomorrow we will demonstrate what this potion does. And if Miss Granger here doesn't have the antidote done tonight, she will be walking around with the affect until she does get it done. Class dismissed."

The bell rang. I slowly put my stuff away. I knew he didn't have any classes after this one.

"Professor," I said, there were still a few students left. Sometimes I am scared to be with him alone, "may I borrow some ingredients for the antidote?" I went up to his desk.

"Yes you know where they are, help yourself." He never looked up, but instead gestured over to the cabinet with his hand. I was somewhat disappointed.

I started opening the cabinet when I realized it was locked. I looked to see if anyone was there: no one, the classroom was empty.

"Professor, it's locked. Can you please unlock it?" he looked up and came over to me. The classroom door was shut; some one must have shut it on their way out. Why didn't I hear it?

"Yes" he said flatly. I was still standing if front of the cabinet. He stood right in front of me and I turned to face the cabinet and tried to move away when he put his arms around my middle and over my arms but failed. The lock was lower than my stomach but not much. So he worked his way down, slowly sliding his hands down my stomach, like a snake crawling around me, until he came to the lock, then he put the key in and turned it. It popped open and he went back up my stomach. He went up to my shoulders. He started to massage them. _That is so relaxing._ I just wanted him to snog me for the rest of the day.

I was just about to melt into his arms when the bell ran. _Drat!_

"I have to go Severus, but…" was all I could get out before he whipped me around and started kissing me. His kiss was gentle, welcoming, comforting, and words that never will describe it. I kissed him back. He started rubbing my shoulders, now my arms, and working down. I pulled away.

"Something wrong love?" he asked.

"Yes, I have to get to class before they suspect us, which I can't afford right now. Please write me a note while I get my stuff. Like I was saying before, wait until tonight. Then we'll have all weekend together." He gave me a short peck on the lips and went back to his desk.

I turned around and gathered a few items, shaking my head the whole time. I smiled none the less; he had that affect.

"Here you go angel." He handed me the parchment and gave me one long, last kiss.

"I really do have to go. I would love to continue if I didn't have class." I walked up to the door and looked back. Like always, he was watching me leave with regret in his eyes. I gave him a sad face then smiled and winked at him. I left without further ado.

Shutting the door behind me I found myself face to face with Lucius.

"Mr. Malfoy, what a surprise! What are you doing here?" I asked.

"None of your business mudblood, now get out on my way." He took off his glove and struck me across the face with it.

"What the bloody hell was that for!" I shouted, dropping my things on his foot to hold my cheek.

"Because I don't like you AND you're a mudblood." He hit me hard with his hand this time, knocking me to the ground. Then he pulled me up by my hair and said, "And that was for purposefully dropping contaminated junk on my just polished shoe." He smirked and opened the door. I didn't notice that.

I started to feel hot tears running down my cheek. It stung like nothing I ever felt before.

Lucius didn't shut the door all the way so I could hear him telling Severus, "I just took care of some filth in my way, nothing important. Honestly Severus, why do you agree to even teach mudbloods like her, let alone help them after class?"

"What did you do to her…" why did he stop? I moved and started picking up my books, which had scattered all over the floor, thanks to Lucius kicking them. I turned to find out that the door was open completely and Severus was watching me, anger filled up in him, his eyes dangerous.

"Why do you care what I did or did not do to her? She's just scum and a mudblood." I slowly got up, wiping my tears on my sleeves before leaving, never looking up.

"Mudblood or not Lucius, she is a student and you nor I are not suppose to harm students while they attend Hogwarts. If I hear…" I was too far away to hear the rest. I walked on to Lupin's class.

"Sorry I'm late professor. I ran into someon…some detours on the way here. I'm sure if…"

"No need to explain Hermione." he smiled, "Please, take a seat." I took a seat next to Harry and Ron.

"Psst!"

"What?" I mouthed. Ron tossed me a note. I opened it up. It read:

What took you so long? I thought you were just getting some ingredients for the antidote.

-Ron

I replied.

I was. If you were paying attention, if you ever pay attention to anything, I said that I ran into some detours.

-Hermione

I tossed it back and realized that Lupin was looking in our direction; though he was still talking. _Crap!_ _Why me? Why today!_ I thought, _hopefully he won't say anything._ And he didn't for the rest of the hour.

0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0

Time flew by really fast. The bell rang and Lupin dismissed us.

"Miss Granger, could I speak with you for a moment?" I turned around and saw that it was Lupin who had spoken.

"Yes professor." I went back to face Lupin. Draco brushed by without comment or an insult to me, which was very unusual. It almost scared me!

"What is it professor?"

"It's about your life."

"My life?"

"Yes, I'm a little concerned, and when you were not on time to class it made me even more worried. You are known to hang around Harry and Ron, but you've never actually had a love life that I know of. Well there was Krum, but he doesn't count, he was just playing you. You are 17, I'm not telling you what to do or anything, but this is your last year here at Hogwarts and you probably will have a lonely life. I'm telling you this because I'm concerned about you Hermione. You haven't acted like your old self for a while. And after you leave here, I want you to be happy and to have a family. I'm not telling you to have a love life if you don't want to but I want you to be safe. Wizards and witches get married, mainly, at 17, right after school. Your husband, if you will, will protect you and keep you safe. I fear for you. Chose wisely like I know you will. I just don't want you to lead the same life I did: alone. Do you understand what I'm trying to tell you? This is hard for me to try and tell you. I can't say exactly what I want." He stopped and looked at me.

"Yes, I'm glad you care for me. Thanks professor. That really made me think of my future, where as before I never really thought about it. Thanks a load! Um…may I leave now?"

"Yes" he chuckled and dismissed me.

I ran out of the room and down the hallway. I ran into someone on my way.

"I'm so sorry! I should have been more careful and should have watched where I was going. But I was so caught up in my thoughts…" I feared that it was Lucius again until I was cut off.

"Shh! It's quite alright. It's my fault as well. Here let me help you."

"Thank you sir." It sounded like a sir when he spoke. The voice sounded very familiar, but where had I heard it before? I looked up to make sure. Whew! I was right, thankfully and smiled into the man's shinning eyes.

TBC

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A/N: Hey, if you review I will upload the next chapter quicker! I already have it typed out and done. It's just waiting to be uploaded. So...REVIEW! NO FLAMES!

Adios,  
Ryann

Disclaimer: Harry Potter is NOT mine, nor will ever be! I cry at nights because JK thought of Sev before I did, she didn't even give me a chance! So, leave me alone!


	3. Detentions?

**_AND FOR PEOPLE WHO DON'T READ A/N!  
NO FLAMES!_**

**When we last left our Heroine:**

"Thank you sir." It sounded like a sir when he spoke. The voice sounded very familiar, but where had I heard it before? I looked up to make sure. Whew! I was right, thankfully and smiled into the man's shinning eyes.

* * *

**Chapter 3**

He smiled back. Then man was Severus. Severus helped me up and picked up my books.

"Thanks again. Actually, I was going to go and see you but I guess it can wait until tonight. I have a lot of work to do."

"Be careful Hermione and watch where you're going!" he yelled after me as I walked away towards Gryffindor Tower. I didn't bother looking back, I could sense him looking.

I walked through the portrait after convincing the fat lady that she wasn't fat, just big boned. Dumping all of my books on the table next to the fireplace, I looked around for Harry or Ron. Neither of them was there, probably getting into trouble again.

I summoned my caldron from upstairs and started on the antidote. Some of the first and second years watched in amazement as it came flying down the stairs. _Honestly! You'd think they'd be used to this kind of stuff by now!_ I was going to triple the amount because I knew Snape would need it. It takes me an hour tops to finish one dose of the antidote but three would take a while!

I just knew sometime soon Severus would be pulling something like this so I already had one dose prepared, which was also in my room.

Being Head Girl, you got your own private room, laboratory, lavatory, and a little common room but not your own separate dorm, unlike some rumors. Thank heavens for that because I would be stuck with Draco!

I pulled out all the ingredients from my bag and boiled the water.

Halfway through, Harry and Ron came bursting through the portrait hole.

"What's up guys?" I asked them.

"Nothing, just you're late for dinner and you have about 30 minutes until eight, which is when you have detention with Snape, right?" Harry said, panting.

"Yes, thank you for reminding me and giving me the time as well." I smiled at them both.

"Actually Professor Lupin told us to find you, then we decided to add your detention reminder," corrected Ron. Harry jabbed Ron in the ribs with his elbow and murmured something.

"Why would Lupin care…?" I had totally forgotten his little talk. It was cracking me up inside! No one knew about Severus and me…at least of what I knew.

"He worries about you more than any of his students. It's _obvious_ he favors you, even over Harry, which is something in itself!" Ron grunted again, I assumed Harry jabbed him again.

"He sounded frantic when he called us aside." Harry took a seat next to me.

"I'll grab something later. I really need to finish this. And please tell Professor Lupin to not worry about me, I can take care of myself. BUT I appreciate him trying to look out for my well-being. Oh and please tell him about why I missed dinner and that he's very sweet." I started on the antidote again.

I was only halfway through and only had a half an hour left. I had to win this bet. Otherwise, I would look extremely stupid and I couldn't let Snape have that satisfaction.

The grandfather clock in my room stuck eight, time for my detention. I gathered the entire antidote and headed out the door. Five minutes later I was in front of Snape's classroom door. My hands were full of the antidote so I just lightly kicked the door…no answer. I kicked again, a little harder this time: still no answer.

I jumped at someone's breathe on my neck.

"Don't spill the antidote Miss Granger, it's just me." He, knowing that it was Snape, gently laid his hand on my back and guided me through the now open door.

"No need to kick my door either, I sense anyone's presents at my door before they knock, or in you case, kick." The door shut behind us. He came in front of me and grabbed some of the vials.

"Here, set them here." He said pointing to a table set up with different vials and test tubes. I followed him and set the ones I had down next to his.

"So," I said before he had time to do anything, "what did you have exactly in mind for my _detention_?" I moved to the closest table with nothing on it and sat on top of it. Severus took a few strides towards me. Then he took my legs and wrapped them around himself. _Okay, that's what I thought!_ He pulled me as close as he could possibly get me then leaned towards my ear and whispered, "What do you think?" he started kissing my neck and his hand was in my hair.

"Severus," I said, no answer, "Severus?"

"Yes Hermione?"

"Don't you think we should move some where else?"

"Why?" he stopped kissing me and pulled away just enough to look at me.

"For one thing I really don't want to break my antidote vials, another is that I don't want anyone just barging in on us then I get expelled and you fired, and another thing…it's not very romantic." I froze at what I had just said, hoping he wouldn't get mad at me.

"All three points taken." He backed away and sat on top of the table across from me.

I just stared at the floor and let my feet dangle. I fixed my skirt that he pushed up when messing with my legs. I glanced up to see what Severus was doing because he was unusually quiet. He was just staring at me. Apparently he didn't notice that I had looked up because he did nothing.

"What are you thinking about Severus? You've been abnormally quiet?" I looked back down at the floor and started kicking my feet front-wards then backwards, just waiting for a reply. He still said nothing.

"Professor?" I asked, still sitting on my table. "Are you okay? You're starting to scare me a bit here. You've never acted this strangely before." He just continued to stare at me like he was in some sort of trance. I waved my hand in front of his face…still nothing.

"Professor Snape! Hello, anyone home?" I jumped off my table and went over directly in front of him. He was now staring at where I was at, just moments before. I turned around and leaned against him to see what he was staring at when suddenly he grabbed my waist and pulled me up onto his lap. Then he jumped down and carried me to his office.

"You dirty scoundrel! You big fat pinhead! How dare you scare me like that!" He couldn't help but smile as I playfully pounded on his chest telling him to put me down that I was leaving right then and there. He kicked his door shut behind us and carried me out to his balcony. (Although his office was directly off of his classroom and his classroom was in the dungeons, his office and bedroom were magically high up in the school.) He gently put me down in one of the chairs.

"I didn't see you at dinner, did you eat?"

"No I didn't eat, I was busy making the antidote and I had a bet to win." He smiled and gestured toward a table with more vials on it.

"I wasn't going to let you lose." He chuckled then said, "So, you want to go and get something to eat?" he went behind me and started massaging my shoulders.

"And what exactly do we tell the other Professor and students when they see us together in the hallways?" I leaned my head back so I could see his handsome face.

"I will tell them, if they are nosy and ask, that you are going to do your detention cleaning the kitchens."

"Or we could just floo the kitchen and have Winky or Dobby bring something up." I suggested.

"That would probably be a safer way to do it." He then asked what I wanted and went to his fireplace. Both Dobby and Winky came and then went back through the fireplace. Then he came back and started massaging my back again while I looked at the stars.

"They'll be back in…" the sudden bursting of his classroom door interrupted him.

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A/N: Thanks for all the reviews...except one. I will more than likely not be updating as much as I would like. I have loads of homework and very little time for writting, but I will do my best. This is my third "in line" story so if I update on my other ones, I apologize. Thanks for reviewing again, it made my day! I have no clue on when my next update will be. Sorry in advance on how long it will take me:(

.:Waves:.

Ryann

**Happiness Fooled : **Thanks!  
**Ash : **I hoped you liked it.  
**Fairy of Fire and Fury : **I know what you mean when it won't let you log in. Here's the new chapter. Thanks for the review...sorry that I won't take any more ano. reviews I get flames from them.  
**Sodomizes with Severus : **Okay, before you start ragging on me about my spelling and grammar you need to check your own! Your sentences are nottruesentences.They are run-ons and make no sense.I printed your review out to show my friends at school and they just laughed their heads off...you offended me in no way at all. AND...if you don't like the story, then don't read it. It's that simple. I'm not forcing you to choke it down. I do not try to impress people with my work. I just simply like to write. So what, I might not be good at fan fiction, but hey, at least I try and some people apparently enjoy what I write because I have more good reviews than bad! You are my only bad one...I think on this story. That's all I have to say. (And it's a lot sorter than yours!)  
**green harpie song : **No, I wrote the summary that way so I could fit in everything I needed to say. Otherwise, it would be cut off halfway through. Thank you!


	4. Remus

**Where we last left our lovers:**

"That would probably be a safer way to do it," he then asked what I wanted and went to his fireplace. Both Dobby and Winky came and then went back through the fireplace. Then he came back and started massaging my back again while I looked at the stars.

"They'll be back in…" the sudden bursting of his classroom door interrupted him.

Chapter 4

"Quick, find something to clean?" Severus said. I jumped out of my chair and almost upset it. I ran around, looking for something to clean up.

"Severus! Come out of there I need to talk to you…now!" shouted a man. I went pale and Severus noticed this.

"Are you okay?" he whispered.

"Ya, just go," I replied. Hesitantly he went. Opening his door than slamming it shut behind him. I went to the door to listen.

"What right do you have to barge into my rooms and demand to see me?" I heard Severus shout.

"Where is she?" the man yelled back, ignoring Severus' question. He didn't reply. I heard footsteps coming then went back to cleaning his vials. The door swung open and I turned around to see a very angry looking Remus. I was petrified at his appearance. He came up to me and dragged me out of Severus' office.

"What do you think you are doing?" Severus' face was turning an angry looking red. I have never seen him this mad before. "You are not leaving my quarters until you tell me Remus!" at this, Remus turned to face him, dragging me along with him. He walked up to Severus until he was just inches away from his face.

"She is a head everyone knows that you can't give detentions to heads," he said, unusually calm. Then Lupin suddenly drug me to the door. Snape moved to go after us but then thought better of it. (_she'll come back _he thought)

I tried to pry Remus' hand from my wrist.

"Don't you think I should have a say in this? Especially since it _is_ about me?" Remus stopped and turned to look at me for the first time since we had left Severus' classroom.

He paused to think about the question.

"You're right Hermione, I'm sorry. When I found out about your detention with Professor Snape, I went ballistic. I….I...never mind," he paused to take a breath. _Oh my gosh! Is he trying to tell me……na, not Professor Lupin. I'll worry about that later._

"What is your say Miss Granger?" he looked me in the eye.

"I think I should go to my detentions after all, I did disturb his class when I could have been doing numerous of things," his grip on me loosened. He finally, but reluctantly obviously, let me go.

"Okay Miss Granger, if you wish to serve your detentions by all means, go. I won't stop you. I just thought I was helping. I know how you despise Professor Snape," he turned and headed back up the stairs. I hesitated then said, "Professor?"

"Yes Hermione?" he stopped at the foot of the stairs and turned to face me. I swiftly walked up to him. I was barely a foot away from him. I could see his emotions playing in his eyes.

"May I?" I finally asked.

"May you what? You have permission to do whatever you please Miss Granger. I was in the wrong to barge in on your detention," he never broke eye contact with me as if to tell me that he was being honest.

"In that case,…" I leaned in, kissed him on the cheek, and ran back to Severus' classroom, extremely embarrassed.

I left Lupin in a state of shock. He would have never dreamt that I would ever give him a kiss.

-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-

I turned the corner and stopped running to catch my breath. I walked the rest of the way back to the classroom. I opened the door to find that Severus was gone. So I closed the door behind me and went to the back of the room, where the table I had sat on earlier was located. This part of the room was in a dark shadow. I approached the table and sat on it, scooting all the way to the back so my back could touch the wall. I pulled my knees up and held them. I sat there for a while before Severus came out of his office. I waited there for him to notice me but he never said a word.

"She'll be back soon, don't worry," he said to himself.

"I have to do it tonight, no more fooling around," he started pacing in front of his desk, "I have to…"

"Hold on lover boy, I don't want to spoil your surprise," I said, not wanting to hear any more. He obviously didn't hear me open the door because his head shot up in my direction. His face was beat red from embarrassment of being caught talking to himself.

"Who's there?" he said in a suspicious tone. _He didn't sense me coming?_

"I wonder…" I said in a sarcastic tone. He started to walk my way. My face must have been in his view because he visibly relaxed and walked a little faster.

"Hermione, don't…surprise me like that. I knew you'd come back. Why did Lupin do that, do you know?" he said, wrapping his arms around me.

"Wait a second, first things first. You were going to say 'scare me like that' admit it," I said folding my arms, making some room between our bodies.

"I most certainly would never say 'scare me'," he insisted.

"Yes you would and you were about to but thought better of it. Admit that I'm right. Your fear is that I know you that well."

"I was not."

"Yes you were," I said a little more forcefully, fully intent on showing him just how much I knew him. He leaned down to kiss me but I turned my head so he got my cheek instead.

"Come on Hermione, just forget about it. It's no big deal…"

"It is to me," I made my way off the table and headed towards the door, "Good night Professor Snape," I put my hand on the door knob, ready to leave when forceful hands turned me around and I was drowning in a passionate kiss. He pulled away and put his forehead on mine.

"Okay, you are right, I was going to say 'scare me' but that's just between you and me, alright?"

"Yes and thank you."

"Now, for my other questions," I explained why Lupin interrupted and what he had said to me after class. Then I told him about what happened in the hallway after Lupin drug me out of Severus' classroom.

"You gave him a kiss?" Severus said, sounding jealous and outraged.

"Take it easy, it's not like I do it often."

"But one kiss can lead to another and the next thing you know, I've lost you."

"You won't lose me to him Severus, trust me," he sighed and bent down to kiss my forehead. We were back on the classroom tables, this time sitting side by side.

"Now, it's a good thing we went into your office now isn't it? We moved just in time too. That would have been a difficult situation to explain, especially to Lupin."

"Yes my love, now that I ponder what Lupin told you, the more I think he fancies you," I turned to look at him.

"No one sane, like him, would ever like me. No one has ever liked me!"

"Hey now! I'm perfectly sane and I _love_ you!" he said grabbing me and carrying me once again to his office.

"Like I said, no one sane has liked me," he laughed.

-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-

Winky brought my supper and I ate it. I don't think I could have been happier. I had Severus there with me and in his office. After I had finished, he came up behind me and sat, holding me close. I leaned up against him so my head was under his chin. We gazed up at the stars. This felt so good…like I belonged here and nowhere else. This was the first time I had ever felt like I belonged somewhere.

"Hermione?"

"Hum?" he sighed.

"I love you," he whispered into my ear and kissed the top of my head. His grip on my waist tightened. I looked up into his dark eyes.

Turning around I said, "I love you too," and I kissed him and he kissed me back, running his tongue over my lips. His tongue entered my open mouth, kissing me more deeply and passionately than ever before; his hands roaming my body, anywhere and everywhere he could.

He pulled away, both of us breathing heavily.

"Something wrong? This time nothing is stopping us," I said, smiling but it soon vanished after seeing the dead serious look on his face.

"Do you really love me?" he asked, his expression never changing. I started to worry.

"Yes, you heard me say that I loved you."

"Yes, but do you really love me, like I love you? There's a huge difference between just saying it and really, really meaning it."

"Yes, I _really_ love you. More than words could ever say, or mean. Why are you asking me this?" I thought he was going to pop the question there.

"Because I…I'm afraid I'll lose you for some younger, handsomer guy."

"Never, I'm yours forever Severus, I LOVE YOU."

"Well then, where were we?" he had one of those rare smiles.

"I believe here…" I said and put my arms around his neck, kissing him again. My legs were across his left side while I sat in his lap on the concrete balcony. He grabbed my legs and pulled me closer, deepening the kiss. He suddenly stood up, never letting my lips leave his. He carried me over to his bed.

* * *

A/N: Sorry for not updating in forever. I just finished my last exam today. I have so much homework and very little time to write. This is my Christmas present to you:) Have a Merry Christmas everyone! And thanks to all who reviewed. I just recently switched computers and I don't have the slightest clue who reviewed.

Ryann


	5. Diamonds are for Roses

**_When we last left our heroine:_**

"Yes, I _really_ love you. More than words could ever say, or mean. Why are you asking me this?" I thought he was going to pop the question there.

"Because I…I'm afraid I'll lose you for some younger, handsomer guy."

"Never, I'm yours forever Severus, I LOVE YOU."

"Well then, where were we?" he had one of those rare smiles.

"I believe here…" I said and put my arms around his neck, kissing him again. My legs were across his left side while I sat in his lap on the concrete balcony. He grabbed my legs and pulled me closer, deepening the kiss. He suddenly stood up, never letting my lips leave his. He carried me over to his bed.

* * *

**_Chapter 5_**

The next day I woke up to warm, lustrous sunshine streaming onto my face. The balcony window was open and its curtains were softly blowing around. I couldn't feel anyone next to me and I panicked. I shot straight up out of the bed and wildly looked for Severus. He must have heard the sheets rustle for he was standing at the edge of the bed in a split second.

"Something wrong love?" he asked in his silky baritone voice. The sound of that beautiful voice sent shivers throughout my body. With that voice of his, he could make me do anything he wanted me to. I blushed slightly at my reason for being jumpy, but it wasn't an unreasonable explanation.

"I…I thought you were called," I mumbled my excuse and was even more embarrassed. He would have woken me or left a not if that was why he was gone, but I still had cause to worry.

He chuckled slightly and wrapped his silk black robe tighter around himself as a gust of icy cold wind blew his papers off of his desk in the corner. I sunk further into the depth of the blankets.

"I'm worried for you safety Severus."

"I know. And I am worried about yours, especially after Remus' outburst yesterday." Now it was my turn to laugh.

"Don't you remember our discussion last night? Even if he does like me that way, you're the one with my heart. I thought I made that blatantly clear! Please don't make me repeat myself. You know I hate doing that." I lightly punched him as he climbed back into the bed with me. He growled and wrapped his arms around my waist, forcing me back into the bed. I laughed mirthlessly as he started to kiss my neck.

A soft moan leaked from my lips and enticed Severus to continue his ministrations. But before he could go any further, the grandfather clock in his sitting room chimed six o'clock. He gave me one last passionate kiss, indicating we would continue later. I pushed him off me lazily so I could shower and head to breakfast before Harry or Ron noticed I was gone.

-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-

"Oy, Hermione! You going to Hogsmeade?" Harry asked as he sat across from me in the Great Hall. Ron followed suit, sitting on Harry's right side.

"Crap! That's this weekend? I thought it was next weekend! Sorry guys, I don't think I'll be able to go. I have plans." By their expressions, they weren't surprised by my excuse.

"Studying again Hermy? N.E.W.T.'s aren't for another two months!" Although that wasn't my real motive, I decide to let it go.

"How many times do I have to say it _RONALD_? My name is HERMIONE! **Not **Hermy. And, it never hurts to study early and be prepared," I replied ardently. I watched as Ron shrugged his shoulders and started to stuff his face with muffins inelegantly.

We ate in silence for the rest of the time. Once we were finished, we said our good-byes and went out separate ways.

After I was sure they weren't following me, I made my way to Gryffindor Tower. When I arrived in my room, I looked around for my discarded book-bag. I found it near my vanity chest on the right side of the room. In my haste to start my antidote, I had cast it aside and left it, forgotten in the hubbub. All of my homework was scattered on the floor beside my book-bag from throwing it down. I gathered the parchments and textbooks and stuffed them back into the black bag. I also threw a few quills and inkbottles in. Then I made my way down and out of the common room.

I took the long way to the library. As I was going down the last few corridors to my destination, I could sense someone following me. Glancing over my shoulder, I saw no one. So I continued on my way and started humming a song from one of my favorite muggle bands: Evanescence.

Everyone was at Hogsmeade except the two younger years, and they were wither outside or in their respective common rooms...so no one would, or should, be following me to get help on some obscure homework assignment.

AS the eerie felling grew, I grew more panicky, so naturally, my pace quickened. Before I knew it, I was at the library. I let out the breath I had been holding unconsciously and opened the double doors.

There was no one behind me again as I turned to shut the doors. No one was in the library except for Madam Pince, but she was busily re-shelving books. She acknowledged me with a curt nod, but ignored me otherwise. She knew if I needed anything (which was rare) that I would ask.

I deviated around the different aisles when that creepy feeling that someone was following me returned. I flat out ran this time. I ran to my own addition to the library.

I hastily murmured the wards and ran through the wall, hoping my stalker didn't see me disappear. I then whispered the wards and put an untraceable charm up, and sat back in one of my extremely comfortable armchairs.

I watched closely as my pursuer finally appeared in front of the entrance. He was a tall shadowy figure; too tall to be a student.

He just kept walking closer to me, as if he knew exactly where I had gone, but that was impossible because I made sure he didn't see me come in. there was very poor lighting in the room because I hadn't the time to get proper lighting equipment in here.

Still, he moved towards me.

"Hermione, I know you're in there. There's no need to be frightened, please come out," he whispered. The voice was familiarly silky and I knew whom it belonged to.

Severus had a voice like no other. Making sure the coast was clear, I took down the wards and stuck my hand out of the entranceway, grabbing Severus's frockcoat and dragging him in. I reset the wards and turned to face him. I could feel my face flush a deep crimson red. He just stood there and smirked at me. AT ME! How dare he, after what he did to me!

"You had me scared witless you bastard! I thought you were some kind of..." I never finished because Severus took hold of me and brought me close to him, kissing me into oblivion. _The devil_, I thought. But I would let it go for now. It's not everyday Severus Snape decides to (almost) publicly display his affection for me. This was the first time he has been so bold to do so outside of his chambers.

When he finally let me go he said, "Is it a crime to worry about your wellbeing? I never trusted these dunderheads. Lord knows they're children, but who knows what they are capable of. you're Harry Bloody Potter's best friend...and a girl at that, you're susceptible. I _will not_ lose you."

I stared up into his coal black eyes to see his sincerity and quickly plunged my lips back onto his. "Severus Snape, I love you," I said as I unwillingly pulled back. He took my hand in his and kissed it.

"Come with me. I want to show you something." He promptly dropped my hand and my face fell. He smirked and pecked my forehead lightly before disappearing on the other side of the wall. I followed his lead, having absolutely no idea where he was taking me.

As he led me outside, the chilly air of a new spring day bit me to the bone and I naturally shivered. Severus saw this and quickened his pace. He was heading for the greenhouses. I could see that now. But upon our arrival, Severus did not go into the up-kept ones. Instead, he headed unwaveringly, for the cruddy, run-down ones.

"Professor?" I asked, not quite sure what I should call him and whether or not it was safe to be here.

"Just stay close and keep following me, you'll be fine," he returned. I sped up until I was close enough that if Severus turned around in haste, I would have run right into the back of him without thinking twice.

I hesitated as Severus opened the next to last greenhouse's door and waited patiently for me to enter first.

I looked up at his face and cautiously stepped inside. I looked around and saw nothing special; just a run-down greenhouse, but it was unusually warm.

I turned back around to ask Severus what was going on, but he was nowhere to be found. "Severus?" I called out, wondering if he left me by my lonesome.

"Follow my voice," came a reply far off. I headed in the general direction of his voice.

"Keep talking if that's what I am suppose to be following!"

"What do you want me to say?" Exasperated, I turned to my left and kept talking to him like such until I finally caught up with him.

"Now, what the bloody..." I gasped in surprise as I saw why Severus was playing games with me.

"Tsk. Tsk. Such ugly words from such a beautiful young lady. Shame on you!" he teased me. I playfully smacked his arm and ventured forward.

"How did you find this? Is this your personal garden? Who else knows about this? Oh, Severus! It's amazing! I love it."

"When Professor Sprout couldn't care for all of the green houses, she gave some to the staff for their personally use. I received the last two. This one holds my rose garden and the other contains my personal potion ingredients. Only you and I know of this particular garden, and I am pleased you like it. I worked all last summer getting this cleaned up and running properly." When he finished, I ran up and wrapped my arms around his neck, kissing him senselessly.

"Thank you so much!" I whispered into his awaiting ear and releasing the death grip I had on him. I wandered up and down the maze of roses of all colors: white, yellow, orange...but strangely, there were no red roses to be seen.

"Severus, are there no red roses?" They were my favorite flower, and I would have been sorely disappointed if he didn't have any.

"Follow me," he said as he smirked like the devil he was.

"Not again!" I mumbled, but nonetheless, I followed. He wound his was way through the jungle of roses and promptly stopped, turning to face me again.

"Close your eyes and give me your hand," he demanded. I relented and did as he requested of me. Soon enough, I could feel him leading me somewhere. One, two more minutes and we stopped.

"Open your eyes," Severus whispered in my ear. I gasped in utter adoration and put my free hand over my heart.

Right before me was a fountain. There were tall hedges filled with red roses, enclosing the space we were in. The whole area was about the size of the Great Hall, but wider.

There were a few trees here and there, but the red roses were all over the ground. The only place not covered with roses, on the ground, was a little path, just big enough for two people to walk side by side.

The path led to a couple of trees and the surrounding areas of those particular plants so you could sit. Then the path ran around the fountain and just wandered aimlessly through the rest of the place.

It was beautiful. I was speechless.

"Are we...are we in the middle of the garden Severus?" I called out. No reply came. So I ventured forward and sat on the edge of the fountain.

AS I looked into the water, I noticed a few fish were in there. There were beta and gold fish. But one beta fish caught my eye. It was a rich purple color with a little hint of red on its stomach and a bluish tint to the tail and body. It was almost as beautiful as the roses. I decided that I would ask Severus if I could keep that one.

I jumped out of my skin when someone lightly touched my shoulder and sat down next to me.

"Severus?" I questioned.

"Hmm?"

"This is spectacular! I love it. It's gorgeous. But...why did you do this for me?" There was a silence that could have killed a bird. Well, except that the water was trickling down behind us.

"I..." he faltered, "I love you. Do you know that? And I would do anything for you. I would willingly die for you."

After a few seconds when he didn't say anything, I decided to say, "Okay...Severus what are you getting at?" I was usually good at guessing his Slytherin ways, but this time, they truly had me lost.

He took hold of my hand and continued, "I want you to stay with me forever. I want you to be my wife in life and in death. Will you marry me Hermione?" He finally spilled the beans and pulled out a little velvet black box, opening it to reveal a platinum diamond ring.

TBC...

* * *

A/N: Hey, thanks for all the reviews! And the help! I am using some of your ideas, thanks so much. I love you all! Sorry it took so long. I'm working on Chapter 6 right now. If you read this, please review...even if you read this in two years! I still want to know what you think of this. Thanks again! Oh, btw I'm still searching for a beta...if anyone wants to offer. I'm currently working on getting a new e-mail address so it might be a while before I'm able to do anything like that. I'll let you know when I'm ready. 


	6. Uh oh! Unfortunate Misinterpretations

_**When we last left our Heroine:**_

He took hold of my hand and continued, "I want you to stay with me forever. I want you to be my wife in life and in death. Will you marry me Hermione?" He finally spilled the beans and pulled out a little velvet black box, opening it to reveal a platinum diamond ring.

* * *

**_Chapter 6_**

I stared at the expensive ring and realized he was serious. He didn't want me to leave. He wanted me to be his wife and stay with him forever!

Suddenly, I jumped at him, flinging my arms around his neck and spontaneously kissing every inch of his face. "Yes," I screamed. "Yes, yes, yes!!"

He set the ring down next to us as I straddled his lap and continued to kiss him fervently. He wrapped his arms around my waist and waited for me to settle down, loving every bit of me expressing my joy.

I planted one last kiss on his nose and pulled back. I took deep breathes and saw his desire burning in his eyes. I leaned forward and rested my head on his chest, listening to his unsteady breathing and fast heart beat. I wrapped my arms around his waist as he pulled me closer to him.

I don't know how long we just sat there holding each other, but I soon found myself hungry. I chanced a glance upwards and somehow, I knew that Severus knew that I was ravenous.

Silently, Severus took my hand in his and led me down the small path until we came upon a place with a blanket and a basket. My breath hitched as I realized what was happening. 'He's such a closet romantic!'

I walked, dazed, with him and sat upon the blanket as Severus sat next to me and began to pull items out of the basket. I sat silently as I watched his elegant hands move about to make the perfect sandwich for the two of us. And the thing is, he could make a peanut-butter and jelly sandwich and I would still be mesmerized.

I watched as he put the slice of bread onto a plate and then fry the bacon with a flick of his wand and then placed it on the warm slice of whole grain bread. He placed another fluffy slice of bread on top and handed me the plate. I unconsciously took it and thanked him.

He—once again—nodded and began fixing his own delicious bacon sandwich. And we just stared into each other's eyes as we ate.

**-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-**

After we had lunch and had vanished the basket and dirty dishes, Severus took my hand and we walked through the garden together in perfect silence.

Once we were back to the entrance of the greenhouse, he turned and faced me.

"Hermione, I want you to feel free to come here anytime you want. Soon enough, you'll have an equal share in owning it." He smiled and kissed the top of my head.

He opened the door and let my hand go with one last affectionate squeeze. Again, we traveled in silence all the way back to the dungeons. I could tell there was some sort of tension between us, which I did not understand. I replayed the whole day in my head and _still_ could not figure out what I had done wrong. So as soon as the portrait swung close behind me I asked, "Severus is everything all right? Have I done something wrong? Please don't shut me out again."

He just turned around and looked at me. Then he gave me a half smile and said, "No. You haven't done anything wrong. Never you." And then he just kept on walking towards the settee. I followed him and sat in his lap, wrapping my arms around his neck.

"Severus, do NOT shut me out. We have to work through our problems together now. Please, tell me what's bothering you. If I've done something, just tell me and I'll try to right it. I want to be able to tell you everything and work through it, not bottle it all up inside." I was looking at him fiercely now.

"Later love. Right now, I'm sure you have homework to do." His words reminded me of my excuse to the boys earlier this morning. I decided to get at least something true so I wouldn't have the guilt of completely lying to them, and so I could help them with theirs later.

"You're right. But we _will_ talk later." I have him a quick kiss and went to the Library to retrieve my bag. I had decided to visit Professor Lupin to ask some questions I had about the N.E.W.T.'s.

**-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-**

We were sitting on the couch together, enjoying some hot tea while we talked. I had come to Professor Lupin's office in view of getting some questions answered so I could leave quickly. After he called me out of class yesterday, I became leery of being alone with him. And if he truly fancied me, the way Severus thought he did, then I had just led him on with that kiss.

"Hermione are you alright? You look a little pale." As he said this I broke out of my revere and shook my head vigorously. I had time later to reflect on such things. Right now I was just having a conversation with an old friend. That was it.

He set his tea down on the coffee table and moved to sit closer to me, which made me nervous. Could Severus be right about this man…this professor?

"Hermione, about yesterday," _Oh dear lord, _"did you…ugh I'm not doing this right." He stopped and thought for a moment. I knew I should have left then, but I couldn't. I was frozen to my spot.

Unfortunately, the next thing I knew, Lupin's lips were glued to mine, but before I could pull away, Severus came sweeping into the room and the door flung open so wide it hit the wall with a loud bang. He had a look of outrage on his face that I had never saw before.

"So this is how you study?" he said in a deathly quiet tone.

"I…"

"No, I don't want to hear your petty excuses. This was just another scheme to make me look like a fool once again. I'm done. Good bye Miss Granger," he dismissed me in a cold tone that I hadn't heard in years. I abruptly stood up and reached for him as he swirled around to leave.

"Severus, please! Let me explain at the least!" I called after him desperately. But he would have none of it and kept on walking. I followed him, leaving my school things behind. At that point I didn't care. My entire life was at stake. I choked backed the tears that were starting to cloud my eyes.

"Severus, wait!" I yelled in hysterics. I could not keep the flood of tears dammed up any longer, so now they just flowed freely down my face. We were in the corridor now, and he was getting ready to turn the corner when I yelled at the top of my lungs, "You won't even hear me out! You coward! You're afraid…" He turned on me like the snake he truly was.

"Keep quiet. You don't want everyone to know of our previous affairs do you?" His voice was barely above a whisper, which reeked of venom.

I hiccupped and said, "It sounds as if it's _you_ who doesn't want anyone to know of our affair." I was quick to realize my mistake and apologized. "Please, just hear me out. That's all I ask. I'm begging you, and then if you don't want anything to do with me afterwards fine. I'll leave you alone, but just hear me first." He gave an almost regretful look but he left me standing there and scurried off to our comfort zone…his comfort zone, once again.

I stood, rooted to my spot, crying. I couldn't believe that he just left me without even getting my side of the story! _Surely he knows me better than that. I mean, I just said I would marry him! Does he think so low of me? Would he dare believe I would go fool around with another person after accepting to spend my life with him? I thought for sure he of all people, understood me better than that. I am always faithful to those I love. I never cheat!_ All these thoughts swarmed in my head like angry bees, each demanding the answer, but I knew I couldn't get them tonight. _I might never find the answers to any of them now._

I dropped to the floor and slowly crawled to a dark corner and just started to ball my eyes out. I love him, and in a matter of hours, I gained more of him and then lost him completely. I couldn't handle it.

I had a nervous breakdown right there outside of Lupin's office.

**-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-**

I sat there traumatized for hours. It wasn't until Harry tripped over me that I came soaring back into reality and started to cry again. Harry sat down next to me and asked me what was wrong. I just told him I didn't want to talk about it. And I was telling the truth. The only person I _could_ talk to about it refused to listen to me.

"Hermione, you've been missing for a day now. Everyone was worried. Snape even helped to look for you." He gave me a half smile, trying his best to cheer me up. But only I knew that only one person was capable of pulling out of this hell hole now. So I returned his genuine smile with a fake one and got up to my feet.

It was dinner time, so we walked in silence to the Great hall. AS we entered, my instinct naturally told me to look for Severus. Therefore, I took a quick glance at Severus' usual chair and saw that he was staring at me too. I immediately looked away.

I don't know how long I sat there listening to the boys talk about quidditch before I was utterly fed up. I pushed my untouched food away from me and stood up. No one said anything as I calmly made my way out of the Great Hall.

I just aimlessly roamed the corridors. I stared blankly at the floor and hugged myself as I kept walking. I had absolutely no idea where my feet were taking me and I really didn't care, I just wanted to avoid going to my room alone.

I couldn't think clearly. I couldn't feel anything. I was both physically and emotionally numb. By the time I had woken form my trance, it was past curfew. I had lost track of the time as soon as I left the Great Hall, and I still had no idea what time it was.

When I came around I realized where I was, and I shivered. It was chilly. I was outside, at the exact that Professor Snape found me last year.

It was during our last two weeks of school. I was studying for my exams. Unfortunately, I was on the backside of the castle on the far end of the lake. This was off limits to students, but it was the only place I could think of that I would be isolated. I honestly didn't think any of the teachers went that far…ever.

**-X-flashback-X-**

_I sat on the grass under a large oak tree next to the serene water. It was a beautiful sunny day. Everyone was outside enjoying their last few days with their friends before summer break…and exams. However, I, being the bookworm that I am, sat alone studying for my first exam: Potions._

_Yet the beauty of nature that surrounded me was a huge distraction. All I wanted to do was study the scenery around me. I closed my eyes and leaned against the trunk of the tree for support. I don't know how long I sat there, soaking up the rays of the sun with my open text book on my lap, but the next thing I knew, there was a velvety voice speaking to me._

"_Miss Granger, I am sure you know that you are beyond the student perimeter. Ten points from Gryffindor," he said._

_I opened my eyes to see Professor Snape—clothed in his usual attire, yet without his frockcoat—standing before me. I was surprised to hear him take away only ten points. I expected more._

"_Yes I know that professor, but this is the only spot I could think of that I could come and study in peace. I did not think I would cause any harm by doing so." I gathered my things together and made my way to leave._

"_However," he said, stopping my movements, "seeing as you are already here, I don't' see why you can't stay, of course with adult supervision. It is dangerous for you to be wandering alone. You must travel with at least one other person, and if I catch you beyond the perimeter—without an adult—again, there will be greater consequences." As he said this, he sat down next to me, making himself comfortable under the tree. I sat back down dumbfounded. I couldn't believe my ears. Snape just said I could stay out of bounds, with him, and no detentions! And to top it all, he had only taken away ten points!! Ten! He was being unusually…well, nice._

_He spoke first. "What are you studying Miss Granger?"_

"_Potions," I replied. He nodded his head._

_There was an uneasy silence that followed. When the initial shock was over, I tried to read over my potion's textbook. But with Professor Snape not being a meter from me was another distraction._

"_Is something puzzling you Miss Granger? You look distraught." I looked up from my book and could now feel the scowl on my face. I made the mistake of looking directly into his eyes. I could see a flicker of genuine concern before his mask was back in place._

**-X-flashback-X-**

That's where our relationship, of sorts, started. Right here. Funny how my subconscious would take me here, where I first knew that I would never be alone.

I sat down under that same tree and pulled my legs up to my chin for warmth. I couldn't cry anymore. I knew I was being stupid for wallowing but I couldn't help it.

I sat there until sunrise. I felt the sun on my face and I knew that life went on no matter what happened. It wouldn't just stop because something went wrong. And I knew that I couldn't just sit in self pity any longer, but I couldn't help it. The pain was just too great. I felt that I couldn't go on any longer.

Slowly I got up from the ground and made my way back towards the castle. I couldn't hide from everyone all the time. I had to face them sometime and I rather it be sooner rather than later.

As I entered the Great Hall, everyone fell silent and watched as I took my usual seat at Gryffindor table.

"Where _have_ you been Hermione?" Ginny whispered harshly. "Everyone's been talking about your strange behavior, and your disappearances."

"I've been out. Where're Harry and Ron?"

"Out looking for _you_. That's all you're going to tell me _'I've been out'?_ I know you better than that. Something has your knickers in a knot and I'm not leaving you alone until you tell me what it is." I looked up at Ginny and could see the fiery determination in her eyes that every Weasley possessed. I knew that I would never get a moments peace until I told her everything, and besides, when I desperately needed to get away, Ginny could cover for me.

I sighed heavily and told her to follow me. We walked in silence until we reached my bedroom.

"Okay, tell me everything," she said, taking a seat next to me on my bed. So I proceeded to tell her everything, from that day under the tree, to our engagement (by which I was in full hysterics now) and after I calmed down, I told her about the awkward predicament Severus found me in. Ginny was supportive the whole time, nodding her head in the right places, and patting my back when I began to cry and was thoroughly excited about our engagement, but then furious when she heard that Severus wouldn't even listen to my explanation. We just sat there for a long time, while she comforted me.

"Hermione, all you need to do is march down there and demand that he hears you out before he decides what he wants to do. I am, however, a little disappointed that you never told me of your relationship until now." Ginny was so kind, and in many ways, just like her mother.

"You don't know him like I do. It has to be _him_ who wants to talk. If I just go down there, he could leave me and barricade himself in his quarters. Knowing Severus, he probably has changed his wards and passwords so I have no access to him at all. He's stubborn and won't listen. You heard how he just left me in the corridor," I sobbed. I knew Ginny was right though. I needed to talk to him…desperately.

"Don't fret. We'll come up with a plan for him to initiate the talk. Just give me a moment to think." She got up and started to pace the room. I sat lazily and watched her as she bit her bottom lip: a sign that she was truly concentrating.

"You say that he said that he loved you and that he would never let any harm come to you?" she finally asked after about a half hour of pacing.

"Yes," I replied.

"Well then! It's simple really; all you need to do is sulk more and pretend not to eat anything, and fall behind in your studies. If he loves you like he says he does, he will notice and won't be able to stand to watch you waste away any longer. He then will pull you aside and demand a talk. It's perfect!" she said with enthusiasm and plopped back down on my bed. The only problem is that I probably wouldn't be acting. I'll probably feel like that forever, unless something changed between us.

I comply and soon afterwards, Ginny leaves. I lay on my bed staring up at my canopy, thinking. I already was probably two days behind on my homework, since I had no intentions of going to classes that day, especially potions. I had no idea when I would be prepared to enter that part of the castle again. As I continued to think, my eyes drifted shut and I was soon asleep.

**-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-**

The following two days proceeded just as Ginny's plan instructed, with the exception of acting. I really was not eating, and I was falling dreadfully behind in all of my classes. All anyone ever saw me do was roam about the castle corridors with a blank look on my face.

Every so often I would eat a bite of toast at breakfast, or some type of dessert at dinner, but I never ate anything during supper. I mainly moved my food around so it looked as if I ate a bunch. I was losing weight, but frankly I didn't care. I attended all of my classes except potions—I still wasn't ready to face Severus yet—and I never did any of the homework assigned. How could I? What did it matter now that I probably had no future with the one man that I truly love?

I never paid attention to where my feet took me. I just let them lead me as my mind wandered. This time I was heading downwards and I knew where my feet where taking me. Somehow my subconscious knew I was ready to confront Severus, but I couldn't quite accept that as of yet. I was preparing to turn and leave when I moved too fast and blackness filled my vision. That was the last thing I remembered.

**-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-**

When I came around, I was in familiar surroundings. A fire was light in the fireplace and it was the only source of light in the room. I looked around expecting to see the person who obviously brought me here. And then a shadow in the corner of the room moved and came towards me.

Severus stepped into the light and looked me directly in the eyes.

"We need to talk," he said.

TBC...

* * *

**A/N:** Hey everyone! Thanks sooo much for the reviews. It brightens my day tremendously when I receive one! You have no idea. Please R&R. Sorry it took so long. My life has just been more complicated lately and it has left me scatter brained...And about the beta thing, I am unable to get a new e-mail account for my beta-ing. So that's down the tubes. Sorry for the inconvenience. I don't know when I'll be able to update next but hopefully it won't be so long. I'm on Spring break right now and I've already wrote a lot of the 7th chapter.  
Until next time,  
Ryann 


	7. Plan A

**_When we last left our Heroine:_**

When I came around, I was in familiar surroundings. A fire was lit in the fireplace and it was the only source of light in the room. I looked around expecting to see the person who obviously brought me here. And then a shadow in the corner of the room moved and came towards me. 

Severus stepped into the light and looked me directly in the eyes.

"We need to talk," he said.

* * *

**_Chapter 7_**

His hands were behind his back. He moved a chair so that it was directly in front of me. I could see the concern in his eyes. If he purposefully let me see his emotions, or if it was a slip of his mask, I'll never know.

"Are you okay Miss Granger? I found you unconscious."

I nodded my head in response. I didn't expect him to address me as Hermione after what happened, but I never thought about him calling me by my title again. That stung tremendously. My heart broke for a second time.

"Miss Granger you have not been attending my class as of late and I demand to know why. I also hear that Hogwarts' star pupil has not been turning in her homework. Why this sudden lack in your studies? Are you not usually ahead by a semester?" He leaned forward slightly as he questioned me. I sat sideways in the comfy chair and just stared into the fire, ignoring him completely.

"Miss Granger, answer me."

"How can you? How can you just act as if nothing ever happened between us? How could you just leave me standing there in the corridor without so much as an explanation? How could you be so…so _cold?_" I whisper, turning my head to face him. Tears swelled up in my eyes as I looked directly into the bottomless pits of his black eyes.

"I do not want to talk of this. What I saw was an explanation in itself. It was enough for me to get the hint. And how _dare_ you even think that I was cold to you when _I_ was the one who caught _you_ cheating on _me_?" He stood up abruptly, causing me to jump.

"Just listen to me now that we are alone," I demanded and stood up myself. I walked up to him so that I was merely a meter away from him. "I went to Professor Lupin's office intending to receive answers to my questions about my N.E.W.T.'s. He was the one who insisted on having tea and a chat instead. I was reluctant because I remembered what you had said about him. How it sounded suspiciously like he fancied me. Well, Severus, you were right. He took my gesture of friendliness and kindness as a sign that I fancied him, and just as you burst into the room, he leaned in to kiss me. I had no time to react or even back away. I did _not_ kiss him back! How could I? I _love_ you. I was happy, until all of that happened and in a matter of seconds, my world was turned upside down.

"You stormed out of there in rage and wouldn't even hear me out. How do you think I would feel?! And now you just expect me to skip around the castle with a huge grin plastered to my face as if nothing happened and it was all just a game?! Did you even really love me or was that just temporary? Was I just another one of your _play_ things? Because if you loved me as you claimed too, you would have had the decency to hear me out, and even if I was cheating on you, you would have fought for me…if you truly loved me. But that all must have been a hoax, because you didn't even _think_ about fighting for me. You…you coward!!" I was at the point of screaming at him, and as I did this, I got closer to him with each sentence until finally he was backed up against the wall and our bodies were merely centimeters apart.

I did not back down even though I knew I should have. I wanted him to understand what he was putting me through. I wanted to make _him_ feel as awful as he had made me these past four days. I wanted him to feel my pain and agony. I wanted him to feel the hole in my heart that had been growing bigger with each passing day without him in my life. I wanted him to tell me that he was sorry and that he would never leave me without hearing my side of the story first. I just wanted him to take me into his arms and promise to never let me go, and to always love me no matter what and that he would fight for me now and forever. Yet, I knew I could make him do or feel none of these things. And I knew that I had to move on after this, no matter the outcome.

My gaze was intense. I silently vowed not to say anything until he spoke. However, he just stood there looking at me. He had this quizzical look on his face, as if he was contemplating something. With each passing minute of silence, I could feel my eyes begin to tear up.

I couldn't take the silence anymore. "I will always love you Severus, no matter what," I barely whispered and turned away. I put my hands over my face to quell the tears and I started to walk faster towards the door exiting his chambers. With tears freely falling down my face, I placed my hand on the door handle and prepared to turn the knob when I felt a gentle touch on my forearm, stopping my motions. I looked up.

"You were right. It was cowardly of me not to fight for you, but you must understand the agony I was in. For once in my life I thought I knew what it meant to love and to be loved. For once I thought there _was_ hope. You taught me to trust and to love and to _feel_. But that all just stopped when I found you. I could not handle the scene before me.

"For the past four days that same seen of you and Lupin has been all I've thought about, no matter what I tried to rid myself of the image. I was a broken man. I thought you had betrayed me and I didn't want to hear you out because I was afraid that you were only going to confirm what my eyes saw." He put a finger over my lips to stop me from saying something. "Yet, the more I thought about it, the more I believed you would be better off. Being with a spy was more dangerous than being with a werewolf. I didn't…no _don't_ deserve you, but I find myself lost without you. I cannot live without you in my life. _You_ are the reason I exist. _You_ are the reason I _want _to live. It is _you_ that keeps me alive during my meetings. And it is _you_ and only you that I love. You see, losing you would just crush me." He held my face in his hands and brushed my tears away with his thumbs.

As I looked up at him, I could openly see the sincerity in his eyes and did not wait any longer. I stood on my toes and kissed him thoroughly and passionately. I poured my whole being into the kiss and I could feel the same intensity coming from Severus.

We stood there, just kissing, for the longest time of my life…and I didn't mind it one bit. My life was back. There was a purpose to live again. I was whole once more, and in that perfect moment, I knew that all would be well, that in the end, everything would work out and we would be together for now and always.

Soon after, though, Severus pulled back, clutching his left forearm. I knew he was being called. I looked at him and couldn't help but let the new swell of tears fall down my face.

"Severus, I love you. Come home safely," I said.

"I love you too. You should leave. There's no need on waiting up for me. Who knows when I'll get home." He ran into his bedchambers and gathered his Death Eater outfit. As he was leaving, he stopped to give me one last kiss before he rushed out of the door.

I turned around and flooed Dumbledore.

"Hermione dear, so good to see you! Please, come through. What brings you to my office at this hour? Take a seat, child," Dumbledore motioned to the overstuffed chair in front of his desk. I looked around for a clock. It was now midnight. I had lost all sense of time after I had left the Great Hall that evening.

"I'm sorry for disturbing you Professor Dumbledore, but I thought you should know that Severus was summoned."

"Severus?"

"Yes, oh. You don't know. Well…um…let me see…"

"Don't fret child. I already know. However, I wish that either you or Severus would have told me sooner. It would have made it easier on the both of you. Yet on the other hand I'm glad you didn't tell me, because your relationship would have been illegal if you had confided in me or if anyone found out. But by keeping it quiet and never confirming my suspicions, there are no legal actions anyone can take.

"Now, to matters at hand: you say Severus has been summoned?"

"Yes Headmaster. And I was wondering if I could have permission to stay in his chambers until he gets back, so that I may help him if he's badly hurt. I worry so much when he leaves. I'm scared now. I have a bad feeling that the worst is to come tonight."

"I see. Yes, you have my permission to be out past hours. If anything happens, floo me immediately. Good night Miss Granger."

I quickly left after that so that I could be waiting for Severus in his quarters when he returned.

**-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-**

There was a loud swooshing noise that startled me awake in the chair next to the fireplace. I sat up, alarmed. I could just barely make out a tall dark figure through my sleepy eyes. He was limping towards the bedroom. I quietly followed, hoping it was Severus. The man fell down onto the bed and did not move. I put my hand over my mouth to keep from gasping. I silently prayed to whatever god was out there that this man—especially if it was Severus—was not dead.

I crept closer until I was merely a thirty centimeters away from him. With a wave of my hand, I lit a candle on the night stand, careful to seal myself within the safety of the shadows in case it was an intruder who lay on the bed.

I could see the slow rise and fall of the man's chest. I brought my gaze to the man's face and could see several slashes all over. His eyes were closed, but when I looked more closely, I could see that this man before me was indeed Severus. I gasped and rushed to his side.

I lifted his legs onto the bed and tore his clothes off of him. There were several fresh wounds on his chest. His was bleeding profusely. I summoned my wand and started to heal the less serious wounds. Madam Pomfrey would have to look him over later; right now my main goal is to keep him from bleeding to death.

A coughing sound emerged above where I was working. I looked up to see Severus staring at me.

"You shouldn't be here," he whispered.

"I wanted to make sure you were safe when you came home. I don't want you to die when I could have been there to save you." His head lolled to the side and he closed his eyes.

"I don't want you to witness what I go through. I'm trying to protect you but you won't let me," he said and looked back at me. I moved up and lightly kissed his forehead.

"Severus, you can't shelter me if we are to be together. We have to work with each other. I know there is something else to this. I can see it in your eyes. Tell me." I looked at him and I could see him give in.

"I am to bring Potter to the Dark Lord and you too. He wants to strip you of your power and keep you as his concubine. I have asked him to rethink about making you his concubine and to give you to me as my reward. I need to speak to Dumbledore, please summon him." I nodded and took off to the fireplace. I flooed Madam Pomfrey first and then Professor Dumbledore. Madam Pomfrey quickly made her way to Severus to heal his wounds and to give him some strong pain killers.

"No. I will not take those muggle drugs. I need to keep my wits about me during this last battle. Ah, Dumbledore! We need to formulate a plan by three. I have to have Potter and Hermione back by then or the Dark Lord will come here himself and destroy the castle until he finds them and me. I would rather keep him away from the rest of the children if at all possible."

Dumbledore nodded and sat in a chair nearby. He put his hand to his chin and started to rub his beard in concentration. In that moment, his age finally showed. One could see the wrinkles that permanently scarred his forehead and the crow's feet by his eyes. Freckles speckled his face lightly and his light blue eyes lost a little of the shimmer as he thought of a plan.

"Hermione dear," Dumbledore said still staring off into space.

"Yes Headmaster?" I asked, jumping off the bed—where I sat by Severus—at the sudden sound of his voice. I did not expect him to speak to me, of all people, in this critical moment.

"I need you to go and wake Harry. Bring him down here. Oh, and try not to disturb the other boys. I don't want them trying to play the hero and put themselves in danger, especially Ron. Try to keep him here if you can." Dumbledore never looked away from the spot on the wall where his concentration was fixed on.

"Yes Professor Dumbledore." I made my way over to the fireplace. Giving Severus one last look, I said, "Seventh Year Boy's Dormitory, Gryffindor," and stepped into the fireplace.

I still could not get used to the feeling of being spun around in all different directions and every fireplace in Great Britain appearing before me, and then the boy's fireplace finally came into view and I went sailing towards it. I landed on my feet, for once, and I hastily brush the worst of the soot off my clothes. I needed to get Harry out of there as quickly as I could, without waking the other boys.

I ran to Harry's bed and opened the canopy's curtains. Harry sat in his bed, hugging his knees, wide awake. He looked as if he had just seen…well, in muggle terms, a ghost. He was pale like Sir Nicholas and he just stared off into space.

I took hold of his arm and gently shook him. "Harry, come quickly. Get dressed!" I whispered vehemently. He didn't move. "Harry!" I said a little more loudly. "Come on Harry! We can't wake up the whole dorm. Dumbledore can't wait any longer!" I shook him again. He finally turned his gaze towards me.

"I knew someone would come for me, I just didn't expect it to be you Hermione. I could feel that something big was happening tonight. My scar burned." His eyes were filled with unshed tears. "I don't want to die Hermione. This is the first time I've been this scared of dying. I don't know what to do."

"Harry, this is no time to panic! You'll be fine. I swear. We have Severus on our side and Dumbledo…"

"That bastard won't help us! He's too self absorbed. He'll switched sides in the middle of the battle…depends on who's winning! The slime-ball has secured his place on both sides. All that's left to do is to show his true colors."

I raised my hand and slapped him hard across the face. Only then did I think to put a silencing charm around his bed. I snuck a look at Ron's bed. He stirred but did not wake. He was a heavy sleeper.

"Quiet! I'm tired of hearing you go on about Severus. I know you hate him with a passion that it's an art, but get real Harry! If Dumbledore trusts Severus with his life, then don't you think that says enough about his true alliance? Ugh! I don't have time for this! Harry, we have to go now. Dumbledore is coming up with a plan as we speak. We need to move before Vold—" Harry covered my mouth quickly.

"He can hear his name through our connection. Be careful." I nodded. He waited a moment before uncovering my mouth. "You said, 'Severus'. Why?"

"No time to explain. We need to move before You-Know-Who comes here looking for us. Now," I threw some clothes at him, "get dressed and come with me."

"What about Ron?" He inquired.

"We can't take him. Too many lives are at risk already."

"I won't go without him." Harry said, once he was dressed.

"Oh, yes you will. I don't care if I have to petrify you! I have my orders." Harry made his way over to Ron's bed to wake him, but I moved faster and bound him with a simple spell.

"Sorry Harry, but I warned you." I dragged him over to the fireplace and took the extra floo powder I put in my pocket, and as quietly as I could I said, "Severus Snape's Chambers, Potions Master at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry."

**-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-**

When we stepped out of the grate, no one was to be seen in Severus' chambers. So we headed towards the sitting room. No one was there either. _Where could they be?_ I sighed heavily, trying to think where they might have gone, but I couldn't think straight with Harry trying to break his bonds. So I let him go.

"Geez Hermione! Did you really have to do that?"

"Yes, Harry. I was told to leave Ron at all costs." Just as I said this, Dumbledore's head appeared in the grate of the fireplace.

"Come to my office children," he said.

"What's the plan Professor?" Harry asked as soon as he came tumbling out of the fireplace. Dumbledore seemed to be hesitant in speaking. He moved so he was in front of his desk, next to Severus.

"Severus will escort the two of you to the Death Eater meeting. You two will do as you are told. At the opportune moment, I will show myself, along with the Order and a team of Aurors…" Dumbledore continued on with his plan. I can personally say that this plan was not one of his best, and with Severus, the two should have come up with something better than that. Something had to be wrong with this picture. There was something that they were not telling us. But what?

Professor Dumbledore had quit speaking and was now moving towards his fireplace. Severus hustled Harry and me out of the spacious room and into the corridor below. His legs carried him a far distance. I basically had to run to keep up with him.

"Why the hurry Severus?" I whispered.

"Running out of time. Here, take this." He handed me a bracelet. I kept up with his long strides but I staggered a bit when he handed me the piece of jewelry. It was beautiful. I was speechless. I looked up and could see the worry written plainly on his face.

"I think you're going soft. You're terrified. Why did you give me this?" I asked. Harry was at the back of my mind and I didn't care if he overheard our conversation at the moment. Who knew if I would see Severus again after we left. _Stop thinking like that Hermione! Nothing will happen to him…or you._

"Going soft only for you, love. The bracelet belonged to my mother. I've made some adjustments. It now is a portkey. It will take you to the one place I know for sure is safe. You are to use it if you get in the least bit of trouble. I can't lose you, so use it, if only for my sake." I could hear the concern and love in his voice. One would not hear it if they did not know Severus well. I nodded. Our footsteps were in sync with each other. But the out of sync pair of feet reminded me that Harry was still with us.

"Do you have a portkey? I don't want to lose you either. Promise me you'll go to the same place if you're in trouble."

"Yes I have one and I swear I'll you it, if you do."

"I promise." Silence filled the halls after that. The only sounds were our shoes on the cobblestone floors and the occasional squeak of a mouse, running back into the shelter of the shadows.

We were on the grounds soon after. We walked past the gates and started on the trail to Hogsmeade. We were halfway there when Severus stopped. He beckoned us over to him and pulled a portkey out of his pocket.

"Potter, this will take you about a kilometer outside of the area the Death Eaters are to meet. There are a few bushes nearby. Take shelter in those. Miss Granger and I will meet you there shortly."

"Why are we going separately?" Harry asked. Severus gave him a glowering look and Harry quickly dropped his questioning look and held out his hand for the portkey. Severus activated it and handed it to him. In a few short seconds, Harry had vanished. We were finally alone.

"Did you think I would go into this battle without a finale kiss?" He inquired and raised his eyebrow.

"You talk as if you were going to die," I said. Not allowing him to kiss me just yet.

"I have never expected to live past the finale battle. But now that I have something worth living for, I am going to do my best to stay alive." He smiled and bent his head towards mine. His kiss was soft and light. However, I hastily changed it into a passionate and hungry kiss. He pulled away.

"I love you…my lioness," he whispered in my ear.

"I love you too," I whispered back and took hold of his waist, clinging on to him with all my might. He, in turn, held my waist and pulled me under his cloak and apparated.

* * *

**A/N: **Hey! I am finally un-grounded. I was grounded for two months! I finished this a few weeks ago but I couldn't post it. I've started on the eighth chapter and I promised myself that I wouldn't post this chapter until I finished the eighth one...but I can't help it. I'm too excited about getting my computer back:D Thanks again for reviewing guys! It gives me inspiration. You are my muses. :) I was staring off into space one day, trying to think of a good ending (because the way the story was going, it would have had to end soon) when it hit me: a plot twist. It's a realllly good one (in my opinion) but I can't even give this slighest hint as to what it is because that would just ruin the fun! Please R&R and tell me what you think! Love you guys ssssooo much!!! 

Ryann 


	8. Battlefield

_**When We last left our Heroine:**_

"I love you…my lioness," he whispered in my ear.

"I love you too," I whispered back and took hold of his waist, clinging on to him with all my might. He, in turn, held my waist and pulled me under his cloak and apparated.

* * *

**Chapter 8**

"Soo…you've finally come Sseverusss. What took you sso long?" Voldemort asked. We were standing in the middle of the circle the Death Eaters made around their Lord. Harry and I were flanked on either side of Severus.

"I had to find an excuse for the old man, and then he had to talk to me for several hours my Lord." Severus was now on one knee, kissing the hem of Voldemort's robes. Harry was so enraged at Severus' words that he almost lunged at him, but I put my hand on his arm and he calmed down a little.

"How do I know that you were not sscheming againsst me Sseveruss?" His penetrating stare held Severus where he was. His red slits for eyes were glowing and heavily concentrated on Severus, almost as if he was trying to read his mind.

"I have done nothing to betray your trust milord." Severus kept his head bent down and did not stand back up. Voldemort stood for a moment. I think he was actually contemplating on whether Severus was telling the truth or not, and what to do with him. The silence stretched on and I became increasingly uncomfortable. I switched from one foot to the other and back again and I wringed my hands together in anticipation.

"Rise Severus. I have considered your request, and have decided to grant it to you. You may keep the girl as your concubine, after I have used her and when she no longer amuses me." Severus rose and slowly backed towards me. My breath hitched as I heard my sentence. _He would keep me as his sex toy until he grew weary of me, and lord knows when that would be!_

There was no way in hell that I would sleep with him, but I didn't know how to actually prevent that from happening. But I knew, from the look on Severus' face, that he would die before Voldemort raped me.

I could feel Harry tense next to me and I knew I would be safe. Severus joined me and stood in the circle around Voldemort. Other Death Eaters watched in eagerness.

"You, girl, come," was all he said and a few restless Death Eaters were moving back and forth as if they were about to enjoy a feast. Severus gave me a rough push and I stumbled forwards and looked over my shoulder to give him a dirty look.

"On your kneess."

I did as I was told, too afraid to defy him. I quickly racked my brain for a possible solution so Severus wouldn't have to blow his cover to save my sorry arse.

He walked towards me slowly. He bent down to my level and put his rough fingers under my chin and lifted my head. I never looked him in the eyes. Severus had spent some time teaching me occlumency, but I still didn't want him invading my mind, even if it they are fake memories.

He looked me over and then removed his hand—letting my head drop—and circled me. He stopped suddenly and said, "Not an overly beautiful thing iss sshe? But sshe will do. Tell me Sseverus: what do you ssee in her, that hass attracted you sso?"

Voldemort moved to stand in front of him now. Severus said nothing for a long while and I was afraid his hesitation would get him killed. But the slimy git laughed instead.

He stared at Severus for another long period of silence and finally spoke, "You love her don't you?" he asked. Severus neither moved nor spoke.

"Don't you? Ansswer me!" he spat.

I held my breath as I awaited the fight to begin when Severus mumbled something. His dignity was already fractured because he loved a muggle-born, what did it matter that it was hurt a little more? In his eyes, he was a dead man already, but what he didn't know, was that I would do anything during the next several hours to save him.

"Sspeak up Sseveruss!"

"Yes I love her, but she didn't know it until now. I've never made anything known to her. She did nothing."

Voldemort turned on his heel and approached me again. Tears flowed freely down my face. I hated Voldemort so much! He stroked my jaw with one slim finger.

"Iss this true, girl? Hass Sseveruss here, been true to hiss word? Did you or didn't you know of hiss affection for you?"

"I…I didn't know of his fee-feelings for me. He…he's so cold to m-me in class I ne-never would have suspected it," I stuttered. I did not know how I even managed that much. It was miracle!

"Tsk tsk." He shook his head. "He never touched you?"

"No."

"Interesting….Goyle!" He shouted.

"Yes my lord?" A man in a mask appeared before him and bowed low to the ground.

"You may have your way with her first. Severus will watch," he smiled sardonically. _The bastard!_

I opened my mouth in horror, but it was the wrong thing to do because Goyle Sr. came at me and stuck his tongue in my mouth, making the undignified attempt at kissing me. I spat into his mouth and shoved him off of me.

He yelled in rage and came at me again. I looked at Severus and Harry, hoping they could see not to do anything that I would be able to deal with this so the whole thing wouldn't blow up in our faces. _Dumbledore should be here soon._

When Goyle's body collided with mine, we tumbled to the ground in a giant heap of clothes and limbs. He knocked the wind right out of me and I struggled to roll him off. I stood up quickly and waited for him to attack me again. Sure enough, he came at me. I kicked him in the groin, which sent him hurdling towards the ground in pain, holding his crotch.

"I must say Severuss, she is a feisty little one," Voldemort said. I turned around to face him. He was merely five inches from my body. I could feel the coldness radiating off of him like the sun radiates heat. "She'll be hard to tire off." He laughed manically.

It was a good thing Severus' mask was on, because I could just imagine the look of fury in his eyes. I could see his body tense up through his thick robes. Voldemort though, luckily, did not notice this. Instead, he rounded on me and took my head in his hands. I couldn't just defend myself the way I had with Goyle. I was going to have to come up with something much cleverer. I would have to keep him talking or something until Dumbledore came…and if that wasn't soon, I was going to be raped, and Severus would have blown his cover; in other words, we were toast.

Voldemort saw the look of panic in my eyes. "Are you afraid?" he asked with something resembling a smirk appeared across his snake-like face.

I nodded my head, but said nothing.

"Why?"

"I…I…"

"You have no reason to fear me. It's Severuss you should fear. He and he alone has the power to kill you. You are hiss." His face was closer to mine now. _What do I do??_

Luckily, I didn't have to answer that because Dumbledore and the Order arrived right then, and some Aurors I didn't recognise.

"I was afraid of you because of what you might do to Severus if Dumbledore hadn't shown up just now," I smirked and kicked him in the groin too. He fell to the ground with a loud moan of pain.

"What'ss that supposed to mean girl?" he yelled after me. I ignored him and ran until I saw Severus. He was dueling Lucius Malfoy.

Red and green sparks were flying everywhere, just like in those _Star Wars _movies. Except these sparks did not resemble good and evil, they resembled hexes and death warrants. Both Severus and Lucius' movements were so graceful and serine I would not have thought that they were fighting, more like having a conversation over tea. It was amazing the skill each had. I was so engrossed in this battle that I didn't notice Goyle sneak up behind me.

He grabbed me from behind and secured my middle. I struggled and tried to push his arms off of me, but he was far stronger than I could ever hope to be. I racked my brain for what I should do and again, I found another muggle movie to relate to: _Miss Congeniality_. S.I.N.G. All I had to do was S.I.N.G.

So I elbowed him in the stomach; stepped on the inside of his right foot; unleashed his grasp and turned to break his nose; and then I kicked him in the groin…again! This amazed me because it actually worked. "It worked!" I yelled. I didn't expect it to because those types of things in movies never really work in reality. But it did! I did my little victory dance and then realised that I was in a middle of a war. I could get killed for reckless behaviour like that. I quickly sobered up and faced Goyle again, prepared to bind him up with a nasty hex.

But he was in my face this time, apparently he learns after being kicked in the balls…TWICE, because his wand was in my face. He mumbled something inaudible. I fell to the ground with a sound thump and found my arms tied together around a tree trunk. My legs were tied to spikes in the ground, spread eagle style. I was in some deep trouble now.

Goyle smirked at me and lowered himself on top of me. I was gagged with a cloth. I struggled against my restraints. How could this psycho still want to rape me after I probably killed all his unborn children (thank the gods for that!)?

"I like a girl willing to fight," he spat. "That's it…keep struggling; no one here to save you now lassie!" The harder I tried to get away from him, the more I knew—more like felt—I was turning him on. I could feel his erection getting harder each time I thrashed about trying to throw him off of me. _Sick sod! _I managed to move the cloth out of my mouth (it wasn't on very tight) and I spat in his face.

"Bitch!" he screamed and wiped his face off with the sleeve of his robe. I smiled grimly, prepared for the inevitable blow to come. Sure enough, he back handed me and then—the sick freak—kissed the spot where he hit me. I could feel the heat radiating off of it and knew it was turning a deeper red by the second. Tears started to pour out of my eyes. I knew there was nothing more I could do to save myself. And the sting in my cheek hurt terribly, but I knew soon enough, that would be the least of my worries.

He pushed my skirt up and tore off my stockings so the world could see my exposed knickers. _Joy._ He grinned evilly and tore those off too. He unbuttoned his pants. Not knowing what else to do, I screamed…bloody murder!

I choked on my tears a couple of times, but I screamed my lungs out and continued thrashing about wildly so he would have a hard time aiming.

"Shut your trap and hold still!" he yelled, his face flushed with anger. He put his hands on my waist to hold them still and forced me back to the ground. I yelled even louder—if that was possible.

I looked around, hoping someone heard me. I saw Severus stop and turn around, back facing Lucius. That was a bad move. Time froze as I watched Severus run towards me yelling, "Nooooo!" His robes billowed about and he moved slowly towards me. I blinked away tears which were blurring my vision of him. As he yelled, Ron turned and saw me. He ran too. His wand out and poised to release my bonds. I looked back at Severus—everything still in slow motion. Lucius threw a curse at his back. I screamed again, this time for my love. "Severus!! Nooo!" I sobbed and watched as he fell slowly to the ground. I could 

only guess at what curse it was, but knowing Malfoy, it would have been one to kill. My constraints fell to the ground and I kicked Goyle Sr. off of me. I found my wand lying on the ground nearby and flew to it. I turned back on Goyle who was busy trying to stuff his junk back in his pants. One quick hex took care of that for him. He would be busy trying to find his balls for the next several hours. I petrified him and ran quickly to Severus side.

He was lying face down on the ground. I rolled him over, not minding in the least bit that everyone and their brothers could see my arse. Tears spilled over as I wiped the dirt off his worried face. "No!" I cried. He couldn't die. It wasn't possible! No! I laid over him for some time, just crying my heart out. There was nothing I could do to save him. He was dead.

As I lay there holding him, I quickly thought about how it was Malfoy responsible for killing my lover, my future husband. I took hold of Severus wrist and activated the portkey. I didn't want anyone messing with him.

As soon as his body was gone, I got up off my knees and went in pursuit of Malfoy Sr. I know I had a furiously wild look in my eyes, because everyone in my path moved out of my way. My eyes found Draco first. _Good revenge_. I thought.

I bound him up with effortless ease. I was a woman on a mission. _Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned!_ He hated me alright, but that's not what I was going to kill him for. In no time, I found Lucius.

"Lucius!" I yelled. He spun around quickly, wand at the ready. "You pompous bastard! You killed Severus!" I screamed. I wasn't going to toy with him like he did with his victims. I wanted to get this over with…and quickly. "_Expelliarmus!_" Surprisingly enough, his wand flew out of his hand. I caught it and snapped it in half. He went livid and then bright red all within five seconds.

"You will pay for that you mudblood bitch!" he screamed. I laughed. Yes, I laughed in his face.

"You honestly expect I'll let you live after you killed Severus?" He went deathly pale after this. "_Avada Kedavra_And a flash of green light flew out of my wand and hit a cloaked figure. Bellatrix Lestrange fell to the ground with a thud.

An evil laugh came from behind her. "I certainly never would have believed you capable of such hatred mudblood." He now held Bellatrix's wand. We circled each other wands pointed at each other's heart. I thought _incendio_ clearly in my mind and was pleased when Lucius robes caught fire. He jumped and hollered about. I took the opportunity and performed _expelliarmus_ again. Bellatrix's wand—again—flew out of his hand and I proceeded to snap it in half. I double 

checked and saw no one around us that he could throw into my line of fire at the last minute. This was the end for him. I came within several feet from him. And deliberately and slowly said "_Avada Kedavra_" for the second time. I stood there and watched as Lucius fell with a satisfactory _thump_ and I grimaced. My revenge was complete.

I silently walked away from the horrid scene. I found a path away from all the fighting and walked down it. I wanted to get away. I killed two people, and captured another two. Harry would kill Voldemort—I was sure of that—and he could do that without my help. And Ron would be okay without me. I just needed time for myself before everyone bombarded me. No one knew. No one knew but Dumbledore, about our relationship. No one knew how he died. No one knew how my I loved him, and no one could ever know. No one. I was alone once again. I carefully sat down at the edge of the road and cried my heart out. I cried because of my lost loved ones. I cried because I am sure I would never find the happiness I had with Severus. I cried because I killed people today—even if they did deserve it. I cried because I didn't know what I was going to do and I was helpless and scared.

* * *

A/N: Thanks to everyone who reviewed! It was very much appreciated. It encouraged me to keep going. :) I hope this is satisfactory, just keep in mind that I'm NOT done yet. There is still more to come! I would have busied myself with this earlier, but I was gone last weekend. Anyway, please review!

Ryann


	9. Come Back to Me

_**When We last left our Heroine:**_

I was alone once again. I carefully sat down at the edge of the road and cried my heart out. I cried because of my lost loved ones. I cried because I am sure I would never find the happiness I had with Severus again. I cried because I killed people today—even if they did deserve it. I cried because I didn't know what I was going to do and I was helpless and scared.

* * *

**Chapter 9**

I sat in the same spot for hours on end. There must have been a search party out for me by now. It was dusk and I sat and watched the sunset, but it wasn't the same anymore. Nothing would be. I felt numb inside. I finally brought myself to my senses and decided I had better get something to eat. I didn't want to see Severus in the state he was in just yet. I don't think I could have handled it.

I stood up, taking in a deep, brave breath and made my way down the path. I didn't know where it led. Sure, I could have used magic, but I didn't want to be found (the ministry was sure to be looking for me too).

I walked and walked for ages until finally I came upon a small village. There was a tiny pub along the way. I walked in and sat down at the bar.

"Wat can I be getting' ye miss?" the bartender asked. I still didn't know if this was a muggle establishment or not, so I played it safe: "Fish and chips with water please."

I sat and waited until my food came. I ate in silence. I still felt the lingering numbness. That horrific scene of Severus' death kept replying in my mind. It plagued me. I couldn't taste the food, but I'm sure it was good.

I paid for my dinner (muggle) and left the establishment. I stood out on the road looking in both directions trying to decide where to go. I sighed heavily. It was time to face the music whether I wanted to or not. Severus's missing body would surely be suspicious.

I walked in the opposite direction of which I arrived. People were bound to be walking down it to look for me. I walked a safe distance away from the village and activated the portkey my lover gave to me.

**-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-**

Severus's limp body was lying on the living room floor. Immediately, I levitated his corpse to the nearest bedroom. I had only been here once before and it was briefly. Yet I would be able to recognise this room and the decorating anywhere. It was Severus's house.

I laid him gently on top of the covers and crawled up next to him. I laid my head down on his chest and gasped. I shot up right. Unable to believe what I heard, I laid my head down again. I could hear the faint heartbeat that gave me joy! He was alive! I hadn't heard it earlier because I was too set on my revenge.

I jumped out of the bed and quickly ran over to the fireplace. I threw floo powder in and said, "Infirmary at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry."

"Madam Pomfrey! Madam Pomfrey!!" I yelled. I heard scuffling and papers shifting as footsteps quickly approached.

"Yes?" she asked.

"Severus is hurt and I don't know what to do. Please come through, and hurry!"

I watched her as she rushed to her office in the corner of the large white room and reappeared with a black medical bag. I backed away as she came through. She saw Severus lying on the bed and swiftly took action. I watched as Pomfrey listened to his breathing with a stethoscope and wrung my hands in uncontainable worriment. Her hands moved all over his body trying to find the source of the problem.

"What happened exactly dear? I must know so I can work faster."

I told her all that I knew and that I thought he was dead. She looked thoughtful for a moment before turning her attention to his head.

"Help me roll him over Miss Granger," she said. I hopped into action and ran to her aid. She ran her wand over that back of Severus' head and it started to glow red. I looked at her with questioning eyes. Yet all she did was roll him so he was lying on his back again. She walked out of the room and I followed her.

"What is it Madam Pomfrey?" I asked, worried.

"I'm afraid Severus has a concussion and was knocked unconscious. I believe what happened was that Lucius missed Severus, but barely, and instead hit something else, which caused the debris you saw, fly up. I believe that it hit Severus in the back of the head giving him the concussion and rendered him in his current state. There is not much I can do until he wakes up dear. He's in a critical state. If he doesn't wake up, I'm afraid he might slip into a coma. Until then Miss Granger, I advise you to keep a careful eye on him and alert me as soon as anything happens. I must take my leave now. I have other patients that need tending too. Good day Miss Granger."

She left via the living room, leaving me stand out in the hall speechless. I could do nothing for him except make sure he was comfortable. Tears welled up in my eyes again. "Don't you dare leave me Severus. Don't you dare," I whispered to myself.

I turned toward the kitchen and went to make myself some tea and biscuits. I wasn't in the mood for scones. What was I to do? He wasn't dead and I was undoubtedly grateful for that, but he still wasn't here…with me.

I sunk down in the wooden chair and put my head in my hands. I was so unbelievably lost.

I must have dozed off for a while because I was startled when the whistle started to blow. I hastily got up and poured my tea. I made my way back to Severus' room and stopped by the library to pick up a book. I sat down next to the bed and began to read out loud. He always enjoyed reading, maybe it would help—him hearing my voice and being read too.

**-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-**

I had fallen asleep sometime during my reading session, but the funny thing was, I did not remember ever laying my head down. I woke up to luscious sunshine streaming in on my face through the bedroom window. The book I had been reading fell open on the floor and was currently in an awkward position. I picked it up with care and looked over at Severus still lying on the bed.

His condition had not changed, but he had more colour to his face this morning than he did last night. That gave me a little shimmer of hope for the long, gruesome day that lay ahead of me.

I knew, without a doubt, that Harry and Ron would be worried sick about me. I had to find them and show them that I was okay, but I didn't want the talk that would surely follow. I just wanted to be left alone.

While I pondered on how exactly to go about that business without seeming such a jerk, I laid the book on the night stand and made my way to the kitchen to make myself a light breakfast and to wash the dirty dishes; anything to keep my mind occupied and my hands doing something proficient. I took my time washing up the dishes and putting them away.

By the time I had finished it was almost noon. I also had to tell the headmaster of Severus' condition, although I highly doubt that Madam Pomfrey kept such news to herself, he still had a right to hear it from me.

I sat down at the desk in the study and began penning my letter to Dumbledore. I told him of my whereabouts and about Severus and I quickly signed it. I also wrote another short letter to Harry and Ron telling them that I was fine and well and that I would be absent for an indefinite period of time and that I would keep them updated when I could. I also told them that I couldn't exactly explain everything right then, but promised them that I would tell them when I was ready. I examined the letters one last time and sent them off with Severus's owl.

Madame Pomfrey came for a quick visit and said that there still was no difference in his condition, but she gave me some potions that I was to administer to him before bedtime and in the morning. I set those on the nightstand as well.

The day went on sluggishly with no improvement on Severus's part, which worried me. What if he never woke up? What would we do? What would _I_ do? All these questions and more plagued my mind all day. If I didn't stop worrying, I would make myself sick! But I couldn't help it. He was my life.

I decided a nice hot bath was in order. So I went to the lavatory off the bedroom and began running the water. I rummaged through the cabinets and closet to see if (by some random chance) he had any relaxing bubble soap of sorts. And to my utter surprise, I found some under the sink and I plopped a few into the hot water. I found some candles in the closet and set them all over the bathroom. I couldn't help but wonder why he had these things on hand, like he was preparing for some romantic night here. It made me think of more pleasant things so I just let my mind ponder that subject for the remainder of my bath.

I still felt numb, like this was all unreal, but every time I reentered the bedroom, the memories hit me again with such brutal force it physically hurt.

I stepped out of the tub and dried myself off. I found one of Severus's shirts and put it on. It smelled so nice.

I left the washroom and headed back to the bedroom. I saw his still body lying serenely on the bed and my heart skipped a beat. From the angle I stood, it almost seemed as if he was just merely sleeping, rather than being unconscious, like all I had to do was run and jump on the bed and he would wake up and pin me to the bed with a fierce growl for disturbing his peace. I could just imagine him doing such a thing and I could feel his body against mine so vividly. This brought tears to my eyes and I cried once more; knowing that I possibly might never feel his arms around me again, or feel his burning passion through a simple kiss. It hurt too much.

I crawled into the bed next to him, forgetting about reading to him. I laid next to him with one hand on his chest and the other affectionately brushing his hair out of this face and caressing the skin it found there. I let my tears fall onto his face, only to kiss the wet spots afterwards.

"Severus," I whispered, "Severus, please wake up. Please come back to me! You can't leave me. You promised!" I pressed a light kiss to his lips and laid my head gently on his chest and cried myself to sleep.

**-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-**

I woke up feeling a little better for letting myself grieve, but the headache I could have done without. I tried to sit up and get out of bed to find some headache potion but I was pinned down by a strong pair of arms around me. At first this didn't register at all, but when I turned my head to see Severus behind me I let out a scream of joy, which woke him with a start.

He jerked awake and let me go trying to figure out what catastrophe had happened. He sat straight up, but I pushed him back down as I straddled his waist and kissed every inch of his face.

"Severus!! You're awake!" He laughed at me and held my shoulders so I couldn't bombard him anymore and I realised that I needed to let him recuperate and me sitting on top of him was probably not the best thing for his condition.

"Oh, I'm sorry! I'm just so happy that you're awake and alive!" I said with joy as I tried to move off of him, but he moved his hands from my shoulders to my hips to keep me in place.

"No," he said. "Stay right there for a moment. I rather like the sight of you straddling me in my shirt with your hair mussed up with sleep and the excitement dancing in your beautiful brown eyes. You look downright sexy my love."

I blushed as he said this. I had forgotten everything in my overwhelming joy of seeing him awake. He raised his right hand and caressed my check lightly, pushing back a strand of hair behind my ear, while his left hand explored my right thigh.

"You are very pretty when you blush," he said huskily and pulled me down for a kiss. As our kissed deepened and became more impassioned, his hands became restless and explored every inch of my exposed skin from my neck to my arms and finally to my legs. My mind was foggy and I could not form a coherent thought. I knew there was some other pressing matter at hand, but I didn't care. All I wanted was him to kiss me like this forever and I was impatient with his hands and their self-proclaimed exploring.

I grabbed one of his hands and laid it on my breast as I began to unbutton his shirt. His movements began to quicken and our kiss became more urgent, as if this was our last time to be together before we died. I broke the kiss from his lips and began to kiss the path of exposed skin my hands had formed from unbuttoning his shirt.

I saw a fresh scar near his naval and all of a sudden everything came back to me. He was hurt and needed to be attended to. He didn't need this kind of excitement right now.

I stopped my ministrations and looked up at him. His eyes were closed as if he was trying his hardest to not become too excited just yet, for fear of scaring me.

When he realised I had stopped, he opened his eyes and looked at me.

"Are you okay? Why did you stop?"

"I'm fine, Severus. You're the one who's not. You need to be attended too. I'm going to fetch Madame Pomfrey," I said and moved to get off the bed.

"I can't have a little fun even after waking up from near death can I?" he pouted.

I smiled at him and promised that he would get his fun after he recuperated, and only if he was good. He smiled wickedly at me and began to re-button his shirt while I transfigured his clothes into something decent for me to wear.

I flooed Madame Pomfrey and on hearing that Severus was awake, she rushed over with Professor Dumbledore, who conveniently enough, was in the hospital wing having tea and crumpets with her.

She shooed both Dumbledore and me out of the room so she could examine him properly. She spoke haughtily as she shut the door, "Students shouldn't be looking after their professors this way either. It is just plain out of line!"

I looked to Dumbledore to see him smiling.

"You mean to tell me that you didn't tell her professor?" I asked him once we were alone.

"No my dear, the less she knows about you two the better. I told her that someone needed to look after him and that it was best to leave him at his house instead of moving him. She agreed with me and was expecting me to ask a teacher to stay with him, but I explained to Poppy that the teachers were needed for classes and needed to be open for any students who had final exam questions. She also agreed with me on this point, yet when I said I was going to ask you, she had a hippogriff. She went on and on how inappropriate it was and how speculation would circulate and insisted that I ask the teachers. Then all that was left to do was to simply point out all the points she had agreed with me on. Needless to say she was fuming, but didn't argue with me anymore. So my dear, if she gives you a hard time it is because of me, not you. Your secret is safe with me," he smiled and sat down on the bench in the hallway.

I sat down next to him and we talked for a while before Madame Pomfrey came back out. She had a stern look on her face and set her bag down.

"He needs plenty of rest. I gave him some salves to put on his open wounds and some other potions that would help him recover quicker and to heal his head properly. He said he didn't even notice the pain in his right arm after I told him that it was broken and he needed to be careful with it. Hmph. That man is so…so…there isn't even a word for it! But Hermione dear, since you are staying with him," at this she gave Dumbledore a dirty look, "I need you to make sure that he stays in bed and rests. He cannot have too much excitement."

I bowed my head and mumbled a quiet, "Yes ma'ma."

"Now, I need to give you a check up my dear."

"Say what?" I asked as my head shot up.

"Yes, I need to check on you. I have my orders and everyone needed a once over after the battle was over, but you never showed up. So I'm going to do it now while I'm not busy," she said sternly and motioned for me to follow her. She led me to another bedroom that I didn't know was there.

"Sit on the bed," she ordered and I did as I was told. I wanted to be done so I could be alone with Severus again.

As she bustled about the room I asked, "How did you know this bedroom was here?"

"My dear, I have been here on more than one occasion. Severus has been injured more times than I care to count and he hasn't always been able to make it back to the castle. He always has a portkey on his person to this house. So when he doesn't show up after his meetings I come here to check." She finished speaking and brought her wand over to me. She mumbled a spell and ran her wand up and down. I didn't know what to expect exactly, but I knew that I was perfectly fine, so when her expression of surprise played upon her face I was a bit nervous.

"What is it?" I asked.

"I um…just a moment," she said and she waved her wand over me once more. Her expression never changed and then she abruptly left the room. I was very confused now and I didn't know how to react. _What is going on?_

She came back with Dumbledore in tow. "See for yourself headmaster," she said as he came closer. He raised his wand to me and I flinched a little.

"Don't worry dear, I'm not going to harm you," he chuckled and performed the same spell…again. "Poppy, if you could leave us alone for a bit…" he trailed off and I watched as she packed her bag up and left the room.

"Headmaster, please tell me what's going on? I'm utterly confused and scared now."

He sat down next to me and took my hands in his. "My dear, you are pregnant."

* * *

A/N: I apologise profusely that it took me over a year to update, but life grabs a hold of you and doesn't let go. I will do my best to keep up and let my muse do her work. Thanks so much to everyone who took the time and reviewed and all of you who still stuck with me and were patient (or not) enough to continue reading this story now! I love you all!!

-Ryann


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